Vow Writing Made Easy

Tip #1. Get on the Same Page

It can work really nicely to be somewhat in sync, in terms of both length and tone. If your vows are going to be a surprise for each other, then have a chat about ideas you both like. You might to have some idea of what your partner has written. If so, agree on a few things you both want to capture. It could be things like: the reasons why you fell in love, what has brought you to this moment, what you’re looking forward to in the future and what promises you would like to make.

Tip #2. don’t overthink it

Make sure you’re relaxed, in a good headspace so you can really tap into your feelings. And then just start. If you’ve had a stressful day at work then take some time out to get in the right mood, it might be a walk, swim, surf – whatever it takes to tap into your feelings. Just get something down to start, knowing that you can come back to it later. It’s a work in progress and you don’t have to finish in one go.  

Tip #3. THEY DON’T HAVE TO BE LONG!

It’s so easy to write, write and write some more. Writing from the heart is important but it’s easy to get carried away. Once you’ve spilled everything out on the page, it’s a good idea to edit them down – say what you want to say, no more, no less.

Length-wise, 200-300 words seems to be the sweet spot (as a guide, 300 words will take approximately 3 minutes to say) Long vows (especially anything over 500 words) will be difficult to fit onto a single vow card in a font size that’s legible. So, take out a highlighter and mark up the best bits - what are the bits that make you smile the most.

Whilst short n’ sweet can work for some couples, don’t make them super short just because you want the ceremony to be short - the vows really are the highlight of the whole ceremony. And don’t stress about the editing! I’m here to help you with this part.

Tip #4. It’s all about authenticity

Be meaningful and REAL. Use your own words. I give my couples a whole bunch of examples during planning and yes, there might be something on the planning portal that pulls at your heartstrings and sounds like you; if so, go for it - use a line or two, but make sure you keep it real. If the words don’t fit you as a couple, your partner and your guests will know it.

It’s more important to be meaningful than funny. But if there is something you want to say that is naturally funny and authentic to your relationship then go for it, but if it doesn’t come naturally and you’re including something to TRY and get a laugh, there’s a good chance it will fall flat.

Most importantly, avoid Google, Chat GPT and all the clichés that come with searching online. It’s way more important to be true to your own voice.

Tip #5. DON’T WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE

I suggest getting your vows finished at least four weeks out. It’s a nice feeling to know they are ready so you can enjoy the home stretch to your big day. Send me your draft and I’m more than happy to be a sounding board and give you guidance & feedback.

I have beautiful little vow cards you can use, which I’ll give to you at your rehearsal. I am more than happy to print your vows (for those of you who prefer printed over handwritten) but will need your final vows submitted at least one week in advance.

In addition to the vow examples you’ll find in my Planning Portal, here are some vow-starters. It’s nice to include:

• what you love about your partner,

• what has brought you to this moment,

• what you’re looking forward to in your life together

• some PROMISES to your partner.

A few openers

Name, you are my….

I can’t believe we’re finally standing here

I remember when we first met

I realised I loved you when…

In the middle

I knew I wanted to marry you when…

I want to spend the rest of my life….

You have been my…

I love you because…

You inspire me….

Because of you….

You’’ve taught me….

PROMISES

I vow to….

I promise to always encourage...

I will always….

I promise that we’ll…

When life is hard…..

A few closers

Thank you for…

With you by my side….

I can’t wait to….